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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Secret Holiday

Ssssh! It’s a secret. We are not supposed to mention the name of the holiday that falls on December 25. You see, the first syllable in its name offends secularists, atheists, and some religious groups. Mentioning the holiday’s name is politically incorrect, ixnay, verboten. So we display holiday decorations, string holiday lights, send holiday greetings, view holiday parades, attend holiday concerts, ship holiday packages, put up a holiday tree, hang holiday stockings by the chimney, make holiday travel plans, bake or buy holiday goodies, host holiday parties, take holiday breaks, and exchange holiday presents. We just don’t mention the holiday’s name.

While we are at it, we should change the lyrics of songs we sing at this time of year. How about?
I’m dreaming of a white holiday.
It’s beginning to look a lot like holiday.
Then one foggy holiday Santa came to say . . .
‘Twas the night before holiday, and all through the house . . .
I’ll be home for holiday.
It’s holiday time in the city.
Holiday is the best time of the year.
All I want for holiday is my two front teeth.

What’s next—removing Father Time from New Year’s? After all, he is gender specific, and that might offend . . . well . . . you know who.

Away with this political correctness! It’s enough to make me gag on my holiday cookies. I’m going to blurt out the secret. The holiday is Christmas!


© Jim Dyet

1 comment:

keysha said...

Very well put... I am tired of Christmas being so commercialized, and people trying to take Christ out of CHRISTmas. It will always be Merry Christmas for me... Jesus is the reason for the season.. Love the relations to songs you made.. it really makes you think....
I love your writing.. I am a member of one of the doll groups your wife Gloria is in.. and I come to read your blog whenever I get the change... Thanks for all you do..

May God Bless